🧯 Accountability: What Now?
Someone crosses a line. A friend hurts someone. You see something sketchy go down.
Now what? This is where accountability starts—not punishment, not exile—just people stepping up when harm happens.
Accountability isn’t about “canceling” anyone. It’s about protecting each other and building trust back when it’s broken. This page is for everyone: bystanders, friends, organizers, and anyone trying to do better.
👀 If You’re a Bystander: What To Do In the Moment
- Check in with the person being affected:
“Hey, are you okay?” “Do you want help?” “Need to get out of here?”
- Interrupt if it feels safe:
“That’s not okay.” “Back off.” “Leave them alone.”
- Use distraction if needed:
“Come with me to the bathroom.” “Let’s go get water.”
- Ask for backup:
Find someone you trust—like a friend, staff, medic, or sober buddy.
đź’¬ If Someone Tells You They Were Harmed
- Believe them. You’re not the judge or jury.
- Listen without interrogating. Don’t ask for “proof.”
- Don’t center yourself. This isn’t about your opinion of the accused.
- Offer support, not pressure. “Do you want to talk to someone?” “Need help getting home?”
Let the person decide what to do next. Don’t force them to confront, report, or forgive.
🤝 If Your Friend Caused Harm
- Don’t defend their actions. “They didn’t mean it” is not helpful.
- Don’t make it about your shock. Focus on the person who was harmed.
- Encourage reflection, honesty, and change.
- Help them take space, get educated, and show accountability through action—not just apologies.
🛠️ What Accountability Actually Looks Like
- Owning the harm, without excuses
- Changing the behavior that caused it
- Making amends if and when the survivor wants that
- Taking a step back if needed
- Doing the inner work (therapy, education, reflection)
Sometimes that means sitting out events. Sometimes it means having hard conversations. Sometimes it means just shutting up and listening.
đź“š Local & National Resources
Minnesota-Based
National
🧑‍💼 Organizer Notes
- Have a code of conduct. Share it publicly.
- Set up anonymous reporting options.
- Train volunteers & staff on consent, de-escalation, and trauma response.
- If someone on your crew harms someone—take it seriously. Remove them if needed. Offer them a path to repair, not protection.
- Work with the person harmed—ask what they need, don’t decide for them.
đź“Ł Call to Action
We don’t need to be perfect. We need to be accountable.
Want to help build a safer, more accountable scene?